I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
