the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
