She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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