Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
