What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
he's gonorrhea incarnate
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
