hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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