so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My breasts were aching with rage.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
