If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
