And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
