Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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