i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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