it's too hot outside to masturbate.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
