we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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