I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
