life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize