no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
