my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
