If that was your dad, he is hot
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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