i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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