So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
