You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
