he shaved USA in his pubs
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
