i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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