I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
