we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
