Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
im holly from the hills drunk
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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