Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
