Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
