if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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