I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
