he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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