My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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