Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You have to summon your inner elephant
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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