some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize