Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
