I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize