why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
