fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
