just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I understand Curling. That high.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
