It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Randomize
