I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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