What did we do last night that was yellow?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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