how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
