there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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