therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize