I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
