yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
