He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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