i was born a porn star she said
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
nutella sex= disaster
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
