I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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