he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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