She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
