her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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