We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
