i permit you to call me
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You're earring is so big in my mouth
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
