Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
