..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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