soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
