Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
