can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
