I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
