i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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