found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
