smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
