you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
