Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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