you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize