Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
