found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
