you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
