Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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