Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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