u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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