went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
