tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
