If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
