That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize