i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
